Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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