i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
