i don't like sucking hair
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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