my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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