Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
