he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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