What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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