What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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