Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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