OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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