i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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