the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
