so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
