shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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