I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
