Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
