the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
