Its about making memories worth repressing
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
