Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize