have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we're making bets on your personal life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
