Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
