I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
