every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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