Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
