And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
