I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
