My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
