Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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