This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
