a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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