I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
