so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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