did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
