she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
