im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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