This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
is it fun? or sober?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
