it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
