I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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