bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
