Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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