Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
