Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
