Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
