Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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