Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
