the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
