I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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