i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
