Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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