so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
