I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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