come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
