Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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