By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
