i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
