How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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