I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
