i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
