she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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