kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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