Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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