I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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